When I started my
new life away from alcohol, working in psychiatric hospitals and jails, as a
widow with two heartbroken sons I believed that I had to get tougher. Believe
me I was pretty tough already. My councilor said “No you don’t have to get
tougher, you have to get softer.” I looked at him like he was out of his mind.
Doing that was the most unimaginable thing in the world for me.
Working with
tarot cards helped me. The cards kept showing me where I was fearful and how
that fear blocked me from living the life I wanted. The Hanged Man kept showing
up along with the five of pentacles and then the five of swords. Enough
already! I did not want to wait for anything anymore and I wanted what I wanted
today. The Hanged Man reminded me that this was a slow, sacred journey. The
term I use today is sacred waiting. It is a time of letting go of fear, finding
the kindness in your soul to be gentle with life and then and only then do you
move on.
Living from a place
of kindness has allowed me to trust again. Trust myself, then others then
Spirit. I am a slow learner. Kindness requires two actions. To give kindness is
often easy. To receive it seems so much more difficult. That requires trust,
belief in yourself, a feeling that you are enough and that receiving is a
positive action not a sign of weakness. Getting softer took so much courage for
me. I can tell if I am well by how kind my thoughts and actions are each day.
If my reaction to something is being tough the tarot cards come out to show me
where the fear is and what the solution might be today.
Kindness has
yielded so many benefits. Where I thought that I had to do everything myself I
have found community. Where I thought I was all alone I have found others just
like me. Where I thought that I had to fix it I discovered the gift of
listening and witnessing as a kind and effective tool. That is what the tarot
cards do isn't it? They listen and witness our life and show us how to be who
we really are. Tarot shows us our spiritual core and ask us to live from that
center.
You might like to
pull a card on what kindness in your life might mean today. Share it here if
you like.
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